the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
