oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
tell me about the eggs
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