I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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