I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
this is an emotional support booty call
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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