His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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