Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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