; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
