We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
