high people should be assigned attendants
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
