I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
