how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
