If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We were destined to go to rehab together
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
