Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
