Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize