New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
