school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
