I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize