The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
