Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
