my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize