happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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