C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
