Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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