angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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