I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Randomize
