Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
