You work out of a Hotel?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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