something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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