My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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