Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
His hands were made for my vagina.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
