When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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