Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
