I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
