Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
