is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
