Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
