that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
