I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
There are leaves in my underwear?
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