I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
