They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You ruined the universe
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
