My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
