I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
