the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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