He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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