shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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