i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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