Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
