Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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