I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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