he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
