We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
