HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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