She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
