she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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