We won't sleep together?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
