I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize