This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
