How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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