some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
