Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
