yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
