Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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