So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
