when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
