An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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